Mother’s Day

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Happy Mother’s Day, Grandma’s Day, Auntie Day, Special Person Day!

This is a hard post to write, not because it’s Mother’s Day (that is hard) but because I’m really letting stuff out. Letting things go. When I started my blogging journey, I wanted it to be authentic, not realizing how open I was really going to be.

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I haven’t really processed my momma’s death. It actually started to sink in a couple of months ago that she is actually gone. I have barely cried since she passed and have put on this face, this mask, that everything is okay. Last year, it was so fresh, so new. My family took my grandmother out to lunch and celebrated her. We acknowledged that my mom wasn’t there but kind of swept it under the rug.

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I have really started realizing that my mom is gone. It hurts so much. Sometimes the pain is unbearable. I wrote this note exactly one month ago from today…

There are times you miss your mom so much. The pain is unbearable. You have a choice… what do you do? Let it take over or hide it. Hide it in a deep, dark place thinking that it is helping you. To hide it. To suppress it. But it’s not. My therapist told me that covering it up with alcohol and drugs, makes you not actually feel it. To go through the grieving process. To fully accept what has happened. To feel for real. It’s been over a year and it’s the first time I have really cried since my mom has passed. Like the ugly cry where your face gets all scrunched up and you cry so hard you can’t breathe. The one where you can’t stop and snot is running down your face. The kind where you can’t catch your breath. Wishing that it wasn’t real but knowing that this it is. She isn’t coming back. Ever. Maybe in dreams or sunsets or feathers. But not physically here. Gone. Never coming back. Having to accept and understand that. Being the strong one in my family, I had to be the one. The one who took over and made sure everything was okay. Ran smoothly. Hide my Feelings. Be okay when I wasn’t. To put a half hazard smile on and greet people. To accept their words. To know your mom is dead. To accept that. It took a while, for me over a year. My mom, who was my best friend… my sister, my mother, my father, my friend …. my best friend. The beautiful soul she was. The bright light in many people’s day. My mom.

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I wrote that while I was ugly crying, not knowing what to do.  My emotions were everywhere and I didn’t know how to make it stop.  At that point, I didn’t even know if I was going to stop crying.

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All these beautiful memories… the pictures, her words. The love that comes through them.  That is where I find happiness and sadness all at the same time. It is hard to lose someone. It is hard to lose a family member.  It is hard to lose someone you are so close to. It is even harder to lose your person.

Xoxo

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Shrimp Tacos with Mango Slaw

Shrimp Tacos with Mango Slaw

Just in time for Taco Tuesday and the Cinco de Mayo!!! 

shrimp tacos

OH MY GOODNESS!!! These were sooooo good!!! It’s the perfect touch of spice with creamy slaw. The mango takes it to a whole new level. I like to experiment with different flavors of spicy and sweet. This is the perfect combination, if you ask me!

 

What You Need:

Raw Shrimp (peeled and deveined)

Drizzle of Olive Oil

Salt

Pepper

1 Clove of Crushed Garlic

2 teaspoons Crushed Red Pepper

Corn Tortillas

Salsa

Guacamole

What You Need for the Slaw:

1 cup Shredded Cabbage

1 cup Shredded Purple Cabbage

½ cup Shredded Carrots

¼ cup Olive Oil

¼ cup Water

¼ cup Apple Cider Vinegar

2 Cloves of Crushed Garlic

½ cup Plain Greek Yogurt

Juice of Two Limes

Salt and Pepper

2 Mangos, sliced and diced

What You Need To Do:

Make the slaw ahead of time and let it sit for at least an hour in the refrigerator before serving. In a large bowl, add both cabbages and carrots. In a small bowl, mix together the wet ingredients with the spices and garlic. Once incorporated, pour into the large bowl and mix together. Add in the mangos and stir again. Let the slaw sit in the refrigerator.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Drizzle a light coat of olive oil on a baking pan. Place peeled shrimp, garlic, and spices on the baking pan. Mix and cook in oven for about 8 minutes (depending on the size of your shrimp). You will know they are cooked when the shrimp turn pink and curl a bit. If they curl too much, they will be over cooked. Let the shrimp cool for a minute.

Take a warm corn tortilla and fill the bottom with shrimp. Layer on guacamole and salsa (if you like). Top with the mango slaw and enjoy! xoxo

shrimp tacos